How to Lean Into Your Fear in a Healthy Way

Sometimes, hidden right behind our fears is our way forward.

Bella Martin


We tend to write off fear as a bad thing.

We try to silence it, ignore it, or make it go away without realizing that often hidden right behind our fears is our way forward. Hidden right behind our fears are our deepest desires.

For example, maybe you fear rejection. The desire behind this fear is acceptance; the drive to be seen for all you are and loved anyway.

Or perhaps you fear failure which tells you what you are after is validation. You want your talents and efforts to be recognized, appreciated, and admired; to get assurance that you are capable and worthy of success.

Maybe your greatest fear is loneliness and so you do everything in your power to avoid being alone. This fear masks a desire for self-acceptance being substituted by the drive for external approval.

What we most desire often lives on the opposite side of what we most fear. When we fear being abandoned it’s because we desire love.

When we fear change it’s because we crave consistency.

When we worry about running out of time it’s because we want to do something now that we are holding ourselves back from.

Ask yourself what you fear and you will also find what you value. Maybe you fear hurting people because your ultimate goal is to help heal. Maybe you resist routine because your core desire is change.

Your fear doesn’t only point to what you don’t want. It points to what you do. Once you understand this, fear is no longer the enemy. It’s an indicator, a messenger, showing you what really matters and reminding you of what’s worth protecting.

For example, if the fear of failure means you want validation, then you must also understand that to get it you have to first risk rejection. If the fear of being alone masks your need for self-acceptance, you have to spend enough time alone to get to know yourself and make peace with all the parts of you.

We often look at fear as a weakness, something to be overlooked or overcome, but it’s actually a grounding source of wisdom. It keeps us safe from what might harm…



Bella Martin

words of healing, hope & happiness. | instagram: @bellamwrites